A DYMO DOZEN...

by Tallulah Lastname, Company Clerk:
Someone (or someones) in Texas likes us -- though we still haven't a clue who it might be, because they're not telling -- and, frankly, it's giving some of our members the creeps.

(photo by Reverend Aitor)

True to what seems to be a fledgling tradition of disconcerting packages containing delightful gifts, this vintage Dymo carousel store display turned up on the Bunker doorstep yesterday. How this can be remains a mystery unto itself. Unlike Headquarters, where the Company conducts most of its business, including shipping and receiving, or the Clubhouse, where the Company holds its shows and sundry events, the Bunker's location is top secret. We don't disclose its whereabouts to the closest of friends, family or bedfellows.

Included in the box was this unsigned note

We presume this gift can be credited to whomever sent us those 800 popcorn bags last summer. Though this package is postmarked, believe it or not, Bigfoot, Texas, a quick search on Google maps reveals it to be relatively close to the origin of the first mystery package.

Arguably the holy grail of labeling tapes

While there is some uneasiness among the ranks about accepting gifts under such circumstances, the issue will be put to a vote at the next meeting, since other members are eager to put these offerings to use. Enclosed with the carousel were a number of rare gems, including woodgrain, and a roll "property of" tape. The latter being the most seldom seen of the Dymo brand tapes.

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TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS (And Making Valentines)...

by Erkuden Sakana, Company Secretary:
Although it feels somewhat early to start thinking of romance with winter in full swing, St.Valentine's Day is infact coming up on the horizon.

The Misanthrope Specialty Co. is looking forward to its participation in the Erotic Arts and Crafts Fair, and much of Sunday's meeting was dedicated coming up with exciting new smut to peddle at the show this February.

Inspired by the cheap perforated sheets of valentine cards of the members' primary school days, the Company proudly introduces its new line of Valentine Funnies and Valentine Goofy Cards. Each double-sided sheet contains five perverted solicitations in the spirit of the Hallmark holiday.

Also new this year is the advent of the Scary Love series; because nothing says romance like monsters and the undead. It's a pretty safe bet the Company plans on hocking this one again come Hallowe'en.

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BAWDY AND SOLD...

by Heywood McGillicuddy, Chairman:

"First Cigarette of the Morning"

And so begins another year; another session of Sunday congregations at M.S.Co. Headquarters; a second consecutive decade nobody can quite figure out what to name.

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Speaking of things unnameable, it appears the Company's still untitled, still in production film has somehow already found a buyer. A bit surprising, since it wasn't yet put up for sale.

More Polaroid snapshots from the Arkansas shoot

On New Year's eve, a letter arrived from a California law firm putting in a bid to purchase the movie, sight unseen, on behalf of the project's chief grubstaker.

This is an unprecedented turn of events to say the least. It has generally been the Company's custom to celebrate a film's completion by organizing a Clubhouse exhibition wherein the film is premiered and hopefully subsequently sold in a relatively informal transaction. Not so this time, however.

Detail from "The Adventure of Quad" by T-Bone and Rev. Aitor

The purchase, as negotiated by the buyer's attorneys, is a far more formal and technical transaction than the Company is used to. Included in the contract is a stipulation forbidding a public screening of the film. Instead, T-Bone is to deliver Los Angels as soon as post production has wrapped up, and personally hand it over to the buyer at a time and location yet to be determined.

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SAVING AGAIN THE [WOOD]GRAIN...

by Erkuden Sakana, Company Secretary:
City of Craft is over and done with, marking the Misanthrope Specialty Co.'s last show of the year.

(photo courtesy of tara.bursey)

Congratulations are in order to the organizers of this fine event. Though the Company speaks only from its own perspective, the show, now in its third consecutive year was a roaring success. No small feat in such dubious economic times.

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In tangentially related news, the Misanthrope Specialty Co. sold out of the last of its wildly popular Holy Fucking Shit greeting cards at City of Craft.

(all 100 cards, scooped up by a frenzied public)

There is no shortage of woodgrain enthusiasts out there; or within the Company, for that matter. Infact woodgrain, both real and faux, has had something of a resurgence in craft and design circles in recent years. Some of the Company's favourite merchandise and most successful merchandise has involved the perfect union of two of its chief loves in the form of woodgrain labeling tape. Unfortunately, the Dymo corporation hasn't produced this stuff since 1973.

(detail from one of the Company's best-selling greeting cards)

The Misanthrope Specialty Co. has managed to maintain it's stock of labeling tape these past ten years by raiding the dusty stationary section of various small office supply and drug stores throughout its members' travels across the North America, but the discontinued rolls of woodgrain are ever more scarce. The aforementioned woodgrain trend, coupled with the scrapbooking craze, has also done much to accelerate the depletion of the increasingly coveted tape.

(1970 magazine ad for Dymo label tape)

Now the day many of the Misanthropes had long been dreading is upon us. The Company stockroom is down to its final roll of 3/8" Dymo woodgrain, with no current leads on any replenishment. But all is not yet lost.

(prototypes for the Company-made woodgrain tape,
in a variety of colours)

The Chief Engineer and Minister of Acquisitions have been diligently working in anticipation of this problem. Sunday's meeting saw the timely unveiling of their prototypes for the Company's own line of woodgrain embossing tape. There is still some fine-tuning to be done, but the results are encouraging.

Needless to say, there was much rejoicing.

* * *

BYPASS ELECTION...

by Heywood McGillicuddy, Chairman:
The Company has received a number of inquiries as to whether or not its pieces for the Home & Away (& In-Between) group show are for sale.

The short answer is yes. However, because it our members' explicit wish not to pay the Cream Tangerine Gallery Cafe its 30% commission, any persons wishing to purchase any of the displayed items are invited to circumvent the cafe by contacting the Company directly.

While it is accepted practice to for a gallery to take a percentage of the sales, it has recently come to the Company's attention that the Cream Tangerine Cafe has already been paid for the use of the space for the exhibition by City of Craft as part of its 2009 installation programming. The Misanthrope Specialty Co. cannot abide this greedy double dipping by a business that is already benefiting from the show's promotion -- not to mention the drink sales from the opening reception and from the thousands of people who come to shop at City of Craft's main event.

The Company can speak only for itself, but regards this attempt to chisel an additional fee from the artists the cafe is supposedly sponsoring, at an event someone else is paying por no less, as an insult to all involved. We also wish to make clear that our gripe is directly with the cafe, and does not reflect our opinion of either the City of Craft organizers, or the show's hard-working curator.

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UNFLATTERING CITY OF CRAFT...

by Erkuden Sakai, Company Secretary:
The Company is pleased to announce its participation in the third annual City of Craft spectacular. It's a two-day show this year.

(show poster by Amy Borkwood)

Citizens of Toronto are well advised to do their holiday shopping here, and take part in the numerous free workshops. A measly two dollars gets you through the doors. That's less than the price of a decent cup of coffee.

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PUTTING THE CARDS BEFORE THE HOARDS...

by Erkuden Sakai, Company Secretary:

(doodled by Becky Johnson)

Another Sunday meeting dedicated mainly to replenishing the Company's inventory of greeting and message cards. City of Craft is just around the corner and what was only two weeks ago believed to be a hearty stockpile of goods has dwindled down to nearly nothing due to another sudden boost in demand.

(photo by Erkuden Sakana)

Though a preliminary skimming of the Internet has yet to yield a concrete answers, such overwhelming swells in popularity can usually be attributed to being favourably mentioned in some broadly read weblog. Until this mystery is solved, the Company sends its sincere thanks blindly into the ether.

(photo by Cottonwood Fields)

The downside of this the cards' success, ofcourse, is that the am mount of time spent making them is encroaching ever more into the time formerly spent on the Company's sundry other projects. It's a blessing which by small increments is becoming a problem, and a topic which will no doubt be tackled at next week's gathering. The Misanthrope Specialty Co., after all, considers itself to be more than a purveyor of handmade greeting cards.

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