Saturday, July 17, 2010

IN GOAT WE THRUST...

Notes to Headquarters
from T-Bone, Company Bailiff:

storm blows in at dusk
(photo by Cottonwood Fields)

"We were making excellent time but the jar was full, thanks to a long day of nothing but coffee and watermelon. We pulled into a truck stop far past Tucumcari to take a leak, top off the water jug, splash some water on our faces.

Pi Pi Jar
"There was a vending machine in the men's room. Not an uncommon fixture at truck stops and gas stations, but this one dispensed particularly colourful array of condoms, cologne and assorted performance enhancers. Imagine the kind of night a fistful of quarters can buy you.

dispenser
(photo by Cottonwood Fields)

"The "Genies Delight" dispenser in particular caught my eye. Seventyfive cents buys you a shot at one of twelve different "politically incorrect novelties", so I called Cotton in. She loved it but immediately went into a feminist rant about the absence of such amenities in the ladies washroom. Apparently the only vending machines she encounters only offer perfume and menstrual supplies.

Genie's Delites
We never found out what the new "Bin Laden" condom is all about

"We pooled all our change together hoping to collect as many random surprise novelties as possible but the machine was either empty or not working or a dirty grift. We'd sunk two bucks and a quarter into it when a fourhundred-pound sow in a soiled cashier's smock busted into the washroom, with accusations of illicit activities. She refused to give us our money back. Instead, she threatened to call the police.

longifolia jack
(photo by Cottonwood Fields)

"I manage to score some "Horny Goat Weed" while Cotton and the attendant were busy screaming insinuations about eachother's mothers. The packet contained two capsules which we gobbled pulling away from the truck stop. I didn't notice an increase in desire. Cotton complained about a spell of vomit burps for a a while."

* * *

1 comment:

  1. can or should 16 year olds take/use horny goat weed? will it harm them?

    ReplyDelete