OH COME, OILY FAITHFUL...

by Becky Johnson, Unofficial Tour Manager:

Photo by Becky Johnson

This just in: The amazing folks at nokomis in Edmonton have confirmed a cozy corner in which Reverend Aitor can and will unflatter you fair city. Sign up below, uggos.

UNFLATTERING EDMONTON
Saturday, August 1, 2009
nokomis clothing

10318-82 Avenue

Edmonton, AB

1:oopm - Lauren Scott
2:oopm - Available
3:oopm - Available
4:oopm - Amy Shostak

To book an appointment, simply click on the comments section at the end of this posting and claim any hour that isn't already claimed. Portraits take about thirty to forty minutes per person and are done by donation. Pay what you think it's worth.

* * *

Just added!
Sunday, August 2, 2009
12:oopm - Adam
1:oopm - Matt Sherman
2:oopm - Jacob Banigan
3:oopm - Available

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YOU LOVE TO HIATUS...

by Erkuden Sakana, Company Secretary:

Behold; a new addition to our list of prints for sale. Hot off the presses.

"The Three Gracies" - New print this week by the men and women of the
Misanthrope Specialty Co.

We've categorised The Three Gracies as a cautionary tail, though what exactly it is we're cautioning against remains the topic of debate.

* * *

While our Sunday meetings continue to be quiet affairs, with most of our members scattered across the continent, those of us left to coordinate the curating of completed work work and the exchange of works in progress are as busy as ever.

This week's Company mailbag is brimming with recently completed illustrations, many of them done on stationary from an array of hotels and motels during our agents' breaks whilst on the road. Clearly our members have come down with stationary fever once again, as there has been a steady stream of work coming in on all manner of vintage and antique letterhead; some dating back as far as the early 19oo's.

There's still a fair amount of sorting and voting to do, but discussions about a new stationary-themed show are already in progress. What we can tell you is that it'll likely be held Labour Day when the Company re-convenes for the season, and that we intend to make good on our previous threats to make our next opening night a Clubhouse slumberparty. Keep tuning in to this web log for more details as the date approaches.

* * *

It should also be said that his is our final installment of Meeting Minutes for the season. While contributions to the web log will nodoubtedly continue, the Company offices will be closed during the month of August. Be advise that letters and electronic messages may go unanswered until after Labour Day.

--Don't change this summer!

* * *

CUSTOMS BLEND...

by Rufus Spaulding:
We have just received word that the last of our fleet has made is safely back into the loving arms of the homecountry.


Things did hit a snag at the border, however, when customs officials detected what they took to be the distinctive effluvium of marijuana emanating both from T-Bone's Battle Wagon, then from Pepper's Gremlin.

Heywood recounts breezing through customs later that night only to see our colleagues' vehicles surrounded by drug-sniffing dogs and being picked apart by uniformed officers. The search for drugs proved fruitless in the end -- though a couple of items of thrift store taxidermy were confiscated as contraband, along with a milk crate of coyote bones Cotton had scavenged from Death Valley.

(photo by Erkuden Sakana)

Our hearts go out to the men and women of the Canada Border Services Agency. Both cars were packed to the gills with luggage, all sorts of boxes within boxes, sacks of bags and sundry poorly packed odds and ends. Nobody should have to go digging around in the seething rat's nest that is T-Bone's car.

There is a jar in T-Bone's car...

If only there had been some way of convincing the officers that the questionable odor was in all likelihood the cloying must of the Balkan blend pipe tobaccos some of our members are a little too fond of.

(photo by Becky Johnson)

* * *

Despite the nuisance of having been delayed and searched in vain for illicit drugs, our colleagues want to note how polite the Canadian customs agents were in the carrying out of their duties.

The familiar taste of home

We've all heard countless stories of being bullied with no justifiable cause at the border. A few of us even have our own tales to tell of accusative intimidation tactics by overzealous jarheads with guns. In this instance, however, it was refreshing to be treated with respect by professionals following up on a dubious smell. They even apologized for the delay once they were satisfied that we weren't tying to sneak anything into Canada, and wished us safe travels.

* * *

WALL-TO-WALL COCKPIT...

by Erkuden Sakana, Company Secretary:
If you're the kind of person who loves literary journals, then you'll be absolutely beside yourself when we tell you a fifth installment of the Pilot Pocket Book is primed to hit the shelves in August.

Our very own impresario, the good Reverend Aitor, has been a contributing to the publication since Volume 1, and this latest release is no exception. This time around he's provided a few illustrations to Dipika Mukherjee's poem, entitled My Death.

illustration by Reverend Aitor, D.D.

* * *

ESCAPE TO ALCATRAZ...

by Erkuden Sakana, Company Secretary:

Despite our overwhelming urge to hop on our bicycles and leave this stink town in our dust for good, the Headquarters team continues to elaborate on the steady trickle of submissions being sent by our more fortunate peers abroad.

"A Secret Society of Exibitionists Are We"
One of our latest inductees.

We have a growing stack of completed drawings, still waiting for approval from the rest of the Company. The voting process has slowed down significantly with the majority of our members gallivanting across the United States.

* * *

Speaking of our fiends down South; our Treasurer's report hasn't come in yet, but the general consensus appears to be that Renegade San Francisco was an outstanding success.
This is only Renegade's second stab at the Golden Gate City, and attendance was even better than last year's already popular event. All accounts from our attending members mention how friendly and enthusiastic the mob was. Several new alliances were forged, and it's probably safe to wager the Company will vote in favour another westward trek in 2010.

Three's a charm, after all.

* * *

EUREKA! (YOU DON'T SMELLA SO GREATA YOUSSELF)...*

By Becky Johnson, Unofficial Documentarian:

Photo of Fraz by Becky Johnson

This just in! The lovely Marcy at Shipwreck in Eureka, California, has hooked Reverend Aitor up with a few last-minute hours of unflattering time to ugly up Northern California. Due to a hectic West Coast travel itinerary, there are only three slots available, so book fast and get sloppy, North Coast.

To book an appointment, simply click on the comments section at the end of this posting and claim any hour that isn't already claimed. Portraits take about thirty to forty minutes per person and are done by donation. Pay what you think it's worth.

UNFLATTERING EUREKA
Wednesday, July 21:
11:ooam - Jesse Wiedel
12:oopm - Velma
1:oopm - Cole

*Blog title stolen from Garth Johnson's hilarious joke cabinet.

WE VALUE YOUR COMMENTS...

By Becky Johnson, Unofficial Web Technician:

We have remedied an issue on this blog wherein only other bloggers could leave comments. Although the Misanthrope Specialty Company is a very exclusive club, we like to pretend that our arms are open to the world. Please start leaving your comments immediately.

MOUNTAIN TIME...

by Erkuden Sakana, Company Secretary:
As the caravan moves north along the coast, we're setting our sites on the fair city of Vancouver. The Company has been invited to join Hidden Agenda, an upcoming evening of entertainment, July 25, at Little Mountain Studios (27th and Main).

photo by Becky Johnson

This installment of the show features performances by Ehren Salazar, Becky Johnson, Dave Shumka, Ryan Beil, The Creaking Planks & more. Rumour has it they're charging a paltry $5.oo at the doors.

Once again, our impresario will be there, and offering up his services for those in need of an unflattering portrait to call their own. Spaces are limited, and will be done by appointment only this time. The 9:00pm and 10:00pm slots will transpire during the show, so you will be treated to a special easy chair from which to enjoy the revelry. Be unflattered while your soul expands!

photo by Becky Johnson

To book an appointment, simply click on the comments section at the end of this posting and claim any hour that isn't already claimed. Portraits take about thirty to forty minutes per person and are done by donation. Pay what you think it's worth.

UNFLATTERING VANCOUVER
Saturday, July 25:
8:oopm - Available
9:oopm - Available
10:oopm - Available

If you would like to make an appointment earlier in the day (free of cover charge) this may be possible to accommodate. Just indicate your wishes in the comments section and we will see what can be arranged.

* * *

THERE'S STARS IN THEM THAR HILLS...

by Rufus Spaulding:

The first annual Renegade Los Angeles was a moderate success. Taking into account the fact that both Cotton and T-Bone noisily refused to step off the elevator upon learning the event really was being held on the thirteenth floor of the California Market Center, things went surprisingly well.

photo courtesy of thea superstarr

photo courtesy of jkoshi

Our sincere apologies to the CMC security staff, and to those sharing our elevator for the brief calamity caused by our triskaidekaphobic colleagues.

While we have not yet convened to put things to an official vote, the consensus among the Company appears to lean towards the idea of coming back next time. The Renegade organizers are an industrious bunch, and we're confident the fair will have found surer footing by the second year.

* * *

photo courtesy of Becky Johnson
Later that night, our guide and new best friend Phil Van Hest, led us on a hike up to his secret vantage point in the Hollywood hills to watch the sun set over the sprawling madhouse he calls home. It seems the secret ingredient to a truly breathtaking sunset is a thick blanket of smog.photo courtesy of Becky Johnson

Once we noticed it was not one or two, but a whole pack of coyotes skulking about we decided it was time to leave the premises. Heywood's insufferably allergic to dander.

autograph by Jake Busey

Phil showed us how to sneak into a fancy Hollywood party when we stumbled upon Jake Busey's house on our way back down. Becky and Phil were the only one's brave enough to try to snap some celebrity photos, but were asked to desist for legal reasons. The camera man following Stephen Dorff around for his upcoming reality show said something about an exclusivity contract, and we took his word for it.

photo by Becky Johnson

Lips from the Anvil movie was selling his band merchandise in Mr.Busey's garage. He was gracious enough to encourage a few surreptitious snapshots.

It's a weird place, this Hollywood place.

* * *

A SAN FRANCISCO TWEET...

by Reverend Aitor, Impresario:

People of Twitter, alert the San Franciscans in your life that The Misanthrope Specialty Company will be in attendance at Renegade San Francisco this coming week-end.

photo by Becky Johnson

Once again, Unflattering Portraits will be available for those whose self-esteem is in good working order every hour on the hour.

To book an appointment in advance, simply click on the comments section at the end of this posting and claim any hour that isn't already claimed. Portraits take about thirty to forty minutes per person and are done by donation. Pay what you think it's worth.


PORTRAIT BOOKINGS
Saturday July 18:

1:00pm - Lea-Anne Smith
2:00pm - Lunch Break
3:00pm - Lindsay
4:00pm - Gin
5:00pm - Available
6:00pm - Cathy Pitters

Sunday July 19:
12:00pm - Jerry Stevens

1:00pm - Garth

2:00pm - Lunch Break
3:00pm - Claire
4:00pm - Available
5:00pm - David
6:00pm - Maggie

* * *

EMPTY NEST...

by Erkuden Sakana, Company Secretary:

photo by Cottonwood Fields

Headquarters is will be running on a skeleton crew of two for the next little while. Rufus, Cotton, Lydia, and Heywood have all packed their bags and lit out for Chicago this morning. They're off to chase the rest of the Company convoy along Route 66.

* * *

Not knowing what else to do with the 800 mystery popcorn bags, we decided to emblazon them with the Company stamp. This is what we'll be slipping our wares into when customers ask for a bag.

photo by Erkuden Sakana

* * *

WAGONS WEST...

by Heywood McGuillicudy, Chairman:

The Misanthrope Specialty Company is on a collision course with the West Coast. We are blazing across the mother road to peddle our wares at Renegade Los Angeles.

photo by T-Bone

Naturally, Reverend Aitor will be present to do Unflattering Portraits of any and all who dare sign up for some grossening every hour on the half hour. While drop-ins are welcome, we advise anyone interested in being unflattered to sign up in advance.

To book an appointment, simply click on the comments section at the end of this posting and claim any hour that isn't already claimed. Portraits take about thirty to forty minutes per person and are done by donation. Pay what you think it's worth.

UNFLATTERING LOS ANGELES
Saturday July 11:

12:30pm - Available
2:00pm - Lunch Break
3:00pm - Iris
4:00pm - Rebecca
5:000pm - Lilly
6:000pm - Luis

Sunday July 12:
12:30pm - Available

1:30pm - Lunch Break

2:30pm - Levi
3:30pm - Greg
4:30pm - Available
5:30pm - Sean Gibbony

* * *

FUNNY BUSINESS...

by Erkuden Sakana, Company Secretary:

Another week, another commission:

This one, fraught with metaphor and allegory, is for awkward comedy duo, Iron Cobra. The act is comprised of Toronto comedy darlings Becky Johnson and Graham Wagner, respectively. They are brilliant. Those of us in the Company who like to laugh at embittered relationships and tender calamities like them a lot. And not just because most of us are Facebook friends with Becky. It's actually the other way around.

* * *

MISSOURI LOVES COMPANY.

(Misanthrope Specialty Company, that is.)
by Erkuden Sakana, Company Secretary:

T-Bone repots another feather in our cap during his stop in St.Louis. It seems the idealistic weirdos at the Cranky Yellow store and gallery now carry select Misanthrope Specialty Co. art prints.Finally, the citicens of St.Louis are no longer forced to pay costly tariffs to have our merchandise shipped all the way from Canada. There will be much rejoicing.

* * *