Monday, February 14, 2011

COCK-A-DOODLE DUDES...

by Erkuden Sakana, Company Secretary:
St.Valentimes' Home for the Broken Hearted
Alone of Valentine's Day? Come and cry on the Company's shoulders.

Today is the day. The Valentine's Day. And the Company has been working double-time making, selecting and hanging work for this evening's Clubhouse exhibition. Last nights meeting ran well into the wee hours. A number of new pieces were completed and voted on, and last-moment curatorial arguments pertaining to which older pieces belonged in the second floor gallery were finally settled. It turns out there is no shortage of art adhering to the themes of love, heartache and sexy times in the M.S.Co. archives.

Sexy Doodle Wall
Sexy Doodles line the Clubhouse maze wall

Then, ofcourse, there was the the persistent distraction of the Sexy Doodle Pads. Few of the misanthropes were able to resist filling in "just one more" of these strange naughty novelties. Indeed, there is a small faction feverishly churning out fresh doodles to this very moment. The Clubhouse doors are scheduled to open in a few short hours, and the maze wall doodle exhibit continues to expand.

As of noon o'clock this afternoon, the Company Clerk tallied one thousand eight hundred and fourteen completed Doodles.

pile of doodle
And the hits just keep on coming.

Of those counted, almost half were submitted by contributors outside the Company. But the aforementioned Company doodle addicts have been working up a storm ever since, and contributions continue to trickle in. Already, the exhibition boasts more variations of that blank-groined pencil-toter than anyone needs to see. And yes, in the spirit of overkill, there will be blank doodle pads available for those wishing to participate in tonight's festivities.

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exposed film
What future film projects lie dormant in the Company vault?

Meanwhile, deep inside the M.S.Co. Bunker, thirty hours' worth of shot footage lies in a basement vault. Offcuts and leftovers from the editing of last year's motion picture extravaganza, Screaming Hell Hogs Eat Shit and Die.

The Company had various long-standing schemes to make use of the surplus footage, but first had to establish whether the reels rightfully belonged to the misanthropes or to the film's purchaser. Hell Hogs had been sold part and parcel to a private collector well before its completion, but the outtakes and assorted byproducts had not been considered and therefore no stipulations had been made for them in the purchasing contract. A lengthy correspondence between the Company's legal department and Hell Hogs' owner's attorneys ensued.

first rushes
Some of the contents of the film cans

As it turns out, the extra footage is the sole property of the Misanthrope Specialty Co. The Company is free to do with it as it pleases "provided it does not use the suffix 'Eat Shit and Die' in the titling or promotion of any film, video, media or print project(s) that may result thereof." Fair enough.

Editing of the new, not yet titled, project is slated to commence next week. The project's parameters and objectives were hammered out at last night's meeting. The reels are to be reworked into a series of twelve films; each based on the story of one of Christ's apostles. A little something to release this coming Easter.

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THIS WEEK'S PRODUCTIVITY REPORT
Number of projects initiated: 18
Number completed: 8
Number inducted: 6
Carried over to next week: 2

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