THE WINDY SHITTY...

by Erkuden Sakana, Company Secretary;

("Dramatization" by the Misanthrope Specialty Co.)

Until the Company finally perfects its weather-control apparatus, outdoor events will always be something of a crap shoot. Given that attendance at such shows depends largely on meteorological cooperation, and that a little sunshine can mean all the difference between feast and famine, the question of whether or not the Company should try it's luck is invariably a topic of hot debate when planning a Company tour. Voting is usually split frustratingly close.

Unfortunately, the elements conspired against the men and women of the Misanthrope Specialty Co. at yesterday's Ballston Arts and Crafts Fair.

A moral victory for the pessimists

The pessimistic naysayers were already shaking their heads as this weekend drew near and the forecast began calling for rain. Surely enough, the drizzle began the moment the Company arrived to set up shop in Welburn Square. The rain had stopped by the time the tents were up, however. The sun came out, virile and bright, and for a few moments it looked as though the optimists had voted right. Then came the freak winds.

(damaged goods as photographed by Erkuden Sakana)

The same wind that had chased away the rainclouds was now wreaking havoc on the event. This served not only to discourage attendance, but it also managed to make off with or otherwise destroy a great deal of merchandise. Many a vendor's tent was blown over, or even down the street. Rufus endured an ugly-looking headwound and the hands of an errant patio umbrella.

In the midst of the chaos, the Company's Chief Engineer pieced together a rudimentary anemometer, clocking the more vicious gusts at 73 kilometres per hour -- or just over 45mph for our readers in the U.S.

Better luck next time, Ballsoton.

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